Intimacy is that special emotion we feel with the nearest and dearest people to us. It is the experience of really knowing or being known by another person. We may interact with many people throughout our lives, but only our closest friends are allowed to glimpse into the private areas of our lives. That's what makes intimacy so special—it is rare, deliberate, and deeply personal.

 

But what about spiritual intimacy or the intimacy we experience with God? Indeed, spiritual intimacy is far more consequential than we may realize because it represents the core purpose of redemption. You see, God created humans expressly for the sake of relationship (Lev. 26:12; 1 Jn. 4:10, 19). He craves close fellowship with us, and wants us to be fulfilled and satisfied in His presence (Ps. 16:11; 34:8). But sin separated us from God, and that separation could not be bridged by human effort or religion. Therefore God sent His Son into the world to restore fellowship with mankind and to bring us near again.

 

So what does it take to experience God more intimately? Let's attempt to answer this question in the following study.

 

PRAYER

Prayer is the most vital point to consider in this matter because it is our primary means of communion with God. When Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for turning the temple into a marketplace, He reminded them that His Father’s house was to be called “a house of prayer” (Mt 21:13). The temple was to be known for prayer because prayer is the very heartbeat of fellowship with God. Just as human relationships grow through consistent communication, our relationship with the Lord deepens through prayer. But when communication ceases, intimacy fades. Likewise, if we neglect prayer, we cannot expect to walk closely with God—our fellowship with Him will inevitably grow distant and cold.

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However, many believers approach prayer mechanically—repeating familiar phrases without affection, reverence, or faith. Such prayer does not rise to heaven. God is not moved by empty formality. True prayer is living, personal, reverent, and earnest. It is the soul drawing near to God with hunger and expectation.

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REPENTANCE AND SIN CONFESSION

Behold, the LORD’S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save… but your iniquities have separated between you and your God. (Isa. 59:1–2)

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He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. (Prov. 28:13)

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If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 Jn. 1:9)

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Sometimes believers forget that God is holy and will not fellowship with unrepentant sinners. True repentance is more than admitting guilt—it requires a complete turning from sin. To profess repentance while continuing in the same wrongdoing is self-deception (Rom 6:1). Scripture makes it plain: only those who confess and forsake their sins receive mercy and restoration (Prov 28:13; 1 Jn 1:9). Until we truly repent, our prayers remain unheard. Those who seek intimacy with God must grasp this essential truth, for repentance is the very threshold of communion with Him.

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Shortly after my own conversion, I met members of the persecuted church from the former Soviet Union. These Slavic believers placed great emphasis on confession and repentance, and it left a lasting impression on me. Many of them would not begin prayer without first confessing their sins before God—and often before one another. Their humility and transparency were remarkable. They understood the power of brokenness and the blessing of walking in humility before God and men.

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Perhaps we should consider their example. James 5:16 offers the following exhortation: “confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” God instituted confession not to shame us but to keep His church humble, accountable, and spiritually healthy. As Western believers, we have much to learn from our persecuted brethren. If we refuse to acknowledge our need for humility and repentance, we risk remaining trapped in spiritual stagnation—with no one to blame but ourselves.

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LOVE MOTIVATED PRAYER (EMOTIONAL PRAYER)

Sincere, emotional prayer is powerful when predicated upon love. Love is the foundation of all true communion with God. The greatest commandment is not merely to obey God, but to love Him with heart, soul, and mind (Mt 22:36–37). Where love is absent, prayer becomes forced. Where love burns, prayer becomes natural and joyful.

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A heart that loves God seeks Him—not out of obligation, but out of longing. A cold heart may still recite prayers; a loving heart communicates.

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PRAYING WITH HUMILITY

Humility is essential in approaching God. Scripture consistently teaches that God draws near to the humble and resists the proud (2 Chr 7:14; Jas 4:10). Humility acknowledges the vast distance between the holiness of God and the poverty of our own righteousness. It confesses, “I have no merit of my own. I depend wholly upon Your mercy.”

 

Consider the sharp and deliberate contrast we are given in the Gospel accounts. Two men went up to the temple to pray. Both approached the same holy place, both lifted their voices to the same God, and yet the posture of their hearts could not have been more different. The Pharisee rehearsed his own virtue before God and was rejected. The publican smote his breast in shame, aware of his sin. Jesus declared that the humble publican went home justified while the self-righteous Pharisee was rejected. The reason is simple: God always esteems the contrite over the confident, the broken over the boastful (Ps. 51:17; Isa. 66:2).

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We see this same truth reflected in the woman who wept at Jesus’ feet (Lk. 7:37–38, 47). Her tears of repentance became her worship, and her love flowed from the awareness of how much she had been forgiven. Christ affirmed, “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.” In her humility she found grace; in her brokenness she found restoration.

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God dwells not with the proud but with the penitent. Therefore, humility opens the door of grace, while pride bars it shut. If we wish to walk closely with God, we must first bow low before Him. The Pharisee sought to justify himself and was turned away; the publican sought mercy and was justified. The woman who knelt weeping at Christ’s feet received forgiveness and peace. These are not mere stories—they are divine patterns showing that the path to God is always paved with humility.

Let us then approach Him with contrite hearts, confessing our faults rather than defending them, for the Lord has promised: “Every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.” (Lk. 18:14)

 

DESPERATE PRAYER

How much do we truly desire intimacy with God? Is it a profound yearning or merely a casual interest? If our desire is shallow and halfhearted, we will never attain it—intimacy with God will always elude us. The depth of our longing determines the depth of our communion. Perhaps the clearest measure of that desire is seen in our prayer life. Nothing reveals how much we want God more than the urgency with which we seek Him. For this reason, desperate prayer is an essential subject to explore.

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It is a fact that when a pressing need arises, our prayers often take on a desperate tone. Urgent prayers are emotionally charged; they break with formality and pour out in tears. Consider the mother who learns that her child is terminally ill. Would she not cry out to God for a miracle? Would she not exhaust every emotion to reach Heaven's throne? Of course she would. Desperate souls pray desperate prayers until Heaven responds. Scripture makes it plain that such prayer moves the heart of God like nothing else.

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In fact, the Bible repeatedly shows that God both invites and honors this kind of desperate intercession:

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Turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning... Let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep between the porch and the altar, and let them say, Spare thy people, O Lord (Joel 2:12,17).

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While Ezra was praying and confessing, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a large crowd... gathered around him. They too wept bitterly (Ezra 10:1).

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And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore (1 Sam. 1:9–10).

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When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven (Neh. 1:4).

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When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly (Esth. 4:1).

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Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping (Ps. 6:8).

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When I weep and fast, I must endure scorn (Ps. 69:10).

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In each of these examples, tears were not a sign of weakness but of holy desperation. They marked hearts that could no longer bear distance from God.

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Josiah and Hezekiah

The lives of Josiah and Hezekiah provide some of the most striking examples of how God responds to desperate prayer. When King Josiah heard the Book of the Law and realized how deeply Israel had sinned, he did not respond with apathy or political calculation—he tore his garments, humbled himself, and wept before God. This was the exact response Heaven desired:

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Because thine heart was tender, and thou hast humbled thyself before the Lord... and hast wept before Me, I also have heard thee, saith the Lord (2 Kgs. 22:19).

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Josiah’s tears became his intercession. His brokenness stayed the hand of judgment and secured mercy for his generation.

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King Hezekiah’s story is equally powerful. When faced with a death sentence, he turned his face to the wall and wept sore before the Lord:

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Thus saith the LORD, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live... And it came to pass, before Isaiah was gone out into the middle court, that the word of the LORD came to him, saying... I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee... And I will add unto thy days fifteen years (2 Kgs. 20:1–6).

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It is worth asking: What if Hezekiah had prayed more mildly—without tears, without desperation? Would God still have answered? Possibly. But would He have extended the king’s life by fifteen years and spared his kingdom? Likely not. The record suggests that God rewarded not just Hezekiah’s prayer, but the depth of emotion and humility with which it was offered. His tears became the visible proof of a heart fully yielded to God.

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Thus, we learn that God’s servants were not stoic formalists; they were desperate intercessors. They knew how to weep before God until He moved. Sometimes what we call “emotional appeal” in prayer is not weakness—it's power. It is the overflow of a heart that refuses to settle for distance when intimacy is possible.

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Jesus Christ

Nowhere is desperate prayer more vividly displayed than in the life of Jesus Himself. The book of Hebrews gives us a profound glimpse into His prayer life:

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Who in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto Him that was able to save Him from death, and was heard in that He feared (Heb. 5:7).

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It is remarkable that this verse records the only time in Scripture where Jesus is said to have “feared.” But what was He afraid of? Not of suffering or death—He faced the cross unflinching. What Christ feared most was the thought of failing the Father’s will. The possibility of anything that could disrupt His perfect obedience was enough to bring Him to tears.

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That holy fear drove Him to prayer—strong crying and tears—until He prevailed. He did not seek deliverance from pain but dependence upon His Father’s strength. This is the purest form of desperate prayer: not born of panic, but of passion to fulfill God’s purpose without faltering.

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Thus, Christ’s prayer life was the foundation of His victory. He rose early to pray (Mk. 1:35), spent entire nights in communion with the Father (Lk. 6:12–13), and faced every crisis from a place of intercession. His success was not due to divine exemption, but divine dependence.

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Desperate prayer is not a performance of emotion; it is the authentic cry of a soul that cannot live without God. Such prayer breaks formalism, pierces the heavens, and touches the very heart of the Father.

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If we long for deeper intimacy with God, we must rediscover this kind of prayer—the prayer of tears, the prayer that clings, the prayer that will not let go until it is heard. For it is written, “The LORD hath heard the voice of my weeping” (Ps. 6:8).

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PERSEVERING PRAYER

Another vital component of spiritual intimacy is persevering prayer. When we persist in prayer despite hardship, delay, or opposition, we prove that our desire for God is genuine and steadfast. Perseverance in prayer is faith that refuses to let go.

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A powerful example of this is found in Jacob’s mighty struggle with God. According to Genesis 32, Jacob “wrestled” with a heavenly messenger until he prevailed and received the blessing (Gen. 32:22–32). But that night brought him more than material blessing—it brought transformation. His name was changed from Jacob to Israel, meaning “he who prevails with God.” In that moment, Jacob gained not only a blessing but a new identity.

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But how could a man possibly wrestle with God and prevail? Was it a physical contest? Did Jacob somehow overpower the Almighty? Certainly not. The answer lies in the prophet Hosea’s commentary: 

 

He took his brother by the heel in the womb, and by his strength he had power with God: Yea, he had power over the angel, and prevailed: he wept, and made supplication unto him: he found him in Bethel, and there he spake with us (Hos. 12:3–4).

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Here Scripture interprets Scripture. Jacob’s strength was not physical but spiritual. His “wrestling” was expressed through weeping and supplication—fervent, heartfelt prayer that would not cease until the answer came. In other words, Jacob wrestled on his knees.

This was his secret: holy desperation. His tears were his strength. His persistence was his power. And his victory came not by might, but by surrender—the kind of surrender that clings to God and cries, “I will not let Thee go, except Thou bless me.” (Gen. 32:26).

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Jacob’s story teaches that true perseverance in prayer is not striving against God but striving with Him—holding fast until His blessing and will are revealed. Such prayer touches God’s heart, transforms the heart of man, and often changes the very nature of the one who prays.

 

The Call to Persist

Ye have not, because ye ask not… (Jas. 4:2)

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And He spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint… (Lk. 18:1).

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In the parable of the importunate widow, Jesus paints a vivid picture of relentless prayer. The widow refused to take “no” for an answer, pleading for justice day and night until the judge granted her request simply because of her persistence. Jesus concludes, “Shall not God avenge His own elect, which cry day and night unto Him, though He bear long with them?” (Lk. 18:7).

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Likewise, in the parable of the midnight visitor, Jesus describes a man knocking on his friend’s door long after dark, begging for bread to feed an unexpected guest. Though the friend initially refused, he eventually rose and gave him all he needed—not because of friendship, but because of his importunity (Lk. 11:8).

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Both parables reveal the same truth: God rewards persistence in prayer. Christ reinforced this by saying, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (Lk. 11:9–10)

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Each command—ask, seek, knock—implies continued, determined pursuit. We are not to pray once and walk away, but to keep knocking until Heaven opens.

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The True Object of Our Seeking

But what is it that God wants us to seek with such persistence? Is it material prosperity or physical comfort? Absolutely not. Jesus Himself provided the answer:

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How much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him? (Lk. 11:13)

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The ultimate goal of persistent prayer is not wealth, healing, or success—it is the Holy Spirit Himself, the manifest presence of God in our lives. To seek the Holy Spirit is to seek intimacy with God, for the Spirit is the One who makes His presence known and transforms us from within.

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Those who truly desire spiritual intimacy are not seeking a feeling, an experience, or an outcome—they are seeking Him. They long for His nearness more than His gifts. They desire an encounter that both changes and empowers them to live as Christ lived.

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So when we persist in prayer—when we wrestle as Jacob did, refuse to let go as the widow did, and keep knocking as Jesus taught—we prove that our hearts genuinely long for Him above all else. Such faith pleases God, and such persistence will always be rewarded.

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PRAY WITH EFFORT AND FERVENCY

So far, we’ve seen that God is looking for wholehearted individuals—those who will compel Him to act on their behalf, who will “wrestle” with Him in prayer until they prevail. This means we must be prepared to be fully engaged in the pursuit of spiritual intimacy. True communion with God does not come to the casual or complacent. It is the reward of those who seek Him with holy determination.

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Jesus alluded to this same principle when He said: And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. (Mat. 11:12)

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At first glance, the language seems strange. How can the kingdom of heaven “suffer violence”? Surely the spiritual realm cannot be assaulted by human hands. So what did Jesus mean?

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To understand, we must look at the original Greek. The phrase “suffereth violence” comes from biazō, which means “to press into, to seize, or to force one’s way in.” Likewise, the phrase “the violent take it by force” comes from biastēs harpazō autōs, literally meaning “the energetic seize it for themselves.” In other words, the verse could be rendered: From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven is being pressed into, and the energetic are laying hold of it for themselves.

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This suggests that God permits His kingdom to be seized—not by the careless or indifferent, but by those who pursue it with spiritual passion and holy energy. God’s promises are not for the passive, but for those who are willing to strive and overcome. Scripture repeatedly affirms this truth:

 

He that overcometh shall inherit all things (Rev. 21:7).

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Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God (2 Cor. 10:3–5).

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Fight the good fight of faith (1 Tim. 6:12).

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We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers (Eph. 6:12).

The Christian life is not a stroll—it’s a struggle. We live in perpetual conflict with the forces of darkness. Satan devises every possible tactic to extinguish our zeal and lull us into spiritual slumber. He knows that once we become drowsy and complacent, we are easy prey. A passionless believer is a powerless believer.

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James 5 & Energetic Prayer

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain... (Jas. 5:16–17).

The word translated “effectual” is energeō, from which we get the English word energetic. The word “fervent” means intensely passionate. Together, they describe prayer that is alive, vibrant, and full of spiritual energy.

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This passage shows us that God responds to prayer infused with both passion and persistence. Elijah’s example is proof that energetic prayer moves heaven. Passion in prayer is not emotionalism—it’s evidence of love. When our hearts burn for God, our prayers cannot remain cold or mechanical.

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Note: Passion is a mirror of affection. If we lack passion for God, or passion in prayer, it reveals the low temperature of our spiritual life.

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Yet how rarely do we witness such fervent prayer in the church today! Most believers prefer to pray in hushed tones, restrained language, or sophisticated formality. Do we then wonder why the heavens feel silent, why revival tarries, or why God’s presence seems distant? Could it be that our passionless prayers are the very cause of our spiritual barrenness?

If so, the remedy is clear. We must repent of our lifeless praying and return to the earnest, energetic, faith-filled prayer of the early saints. God is still searching for men and women who will seek Him with that holy violence—who will not let go until He blesses them.

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OBEDIENCE & SPIRITUAL INTIMACY

According to 1 John 3:4, sin is the transgression of God’s Law. Therefore, whenever we disobey God, we are guilty of sin. The inevitable result of disobedience is separation from God's presence and the loss of spiritual intimacy: Your iniquities have separated between you and your God (Isa. 59:2).

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So what happens when we sin after coming to faith in Christ? The good news is that God’s mercy continues to cover His children. If we stumble in our Christian walk, we must immediately confess our sin, seek forgiveness through Jesus’ name, and rest in His promise:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 Jn. 1:9)

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However, this does not give us license to live in habitual sin or treat grace as a “get out of jail free” card (Rom. 6:1–2). If we continually take Christ’s sacrifice for granted and persist in deliberate disobedience, we prove that our repentance was never genuine to begin with. Such a lifestyle exposes an unregenerate heart and results in eternal separation from God (Rom. 6:1–2; 1 Cor. 6:9–10).

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Obedience, therefore, is essential in our pursuit of spiritual intimacy. It demonstrates to God that we are serious about walking in His favor and abiding in His love. While we can never be completely without sin in this life (1 Jn. 1:8), we can progressively overcome our sinful tendencies through Christ’s enabling power: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Phil. 4:13; Col. 3:5).

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This ongoing process of becoming more like Jesus and less like the world is called sanctification—the daily work of the Holy Spirit transforming us into the image of Christ. Sanctification is not optional; it is the evidence of genuine faith and the key to powerful prayer.

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A holy life does not earn God’s favor, but it prepares the vessel through which His Spirit can flow freely. The closer we walk in obedience, the deeper our intimacy with God—and the more effective our prayers become: The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (Jas. 5:16)

 

TO KNOW GOD INTIMATELY, WE MUST READ THE BIBLE

To befriend God, we must first get to know Him. Every meaningful friendship is built upon an understanding of a person’s character. We cannot truly appreciate someone until we become familiar with their ways, motives, and heart. The same is true in our relationship with God. Only after we come to understand who He is can we relate to Him in a way that pleases Him.

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So how do we become familiar with God’s nature and attributes? There is only one way—by reading His Word. The Bible is God’s revelation of Himself to mankind. It contains everything we need to know about His character, His laws, His promises, and His dealings with people. Therefore, reading Scripture must become our top priority if we desire to draw closer to Him.

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Yet beyond deepening our knowledge and understanding of God, reading His Word also produces faith, which is vital for salvation:

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So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Rom. 10:17)

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But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. (Heb. 11:6)

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Through the Word, our hearts learn to trust God, and through trust, we draw near to Him.

 

GETTING OUR HEARTS IN SYNC WITH GOD’S

Jesus lived a life devoted to prayer and intercession. His love and compassion were so deep that He wept over Jerusalem (Lk. 19:41–42).

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The closer we grow to God, the more we will share His burden for the lost. As our hearts align with His, we will begin to feel His sorrow for those perishing without Christ. Like Jesus, we will be moved by the Holy Spirit to weep and travail for souls. Sometimes those tears will last for hours; sometimes only for moments—but afterward, joy will follow, along with the assurance that our prayers have touched Heaven.

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This is the highest form of intimacy with God: when our hearts beat in rhythm with His—when His grief becomes our grief, and His compassion becomes our own.

 

WORSHIP AND THANKSGIVING

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. (Ps. 100:4)

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By Him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to His name. (Heb. 13:15)

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Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (Phil. 4:6)

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Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. (Col. 4:2)

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Praise and thanksgiving play a vital role in spiritual intimacy because they delight the heart of God. These verses show clearly that worship is not optional—it is the natural language of love between the soul and its Creator. Those who desire to grow in grace should cultivate a lifestyle of continual praise.

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In the Old Testament, God’s people offered blood sacrifices to atone for sin. In the New Testament, believers are called to offer a different kind of sacrifice—“the fruit of our lips”—our worship and thanksgiving. Therefore, we should worship God continually, just as we pray continually.

 

FASTING

Fasting may not come naturally to us, yet Scripture reveals it as one of the most powerful weapons in our spiritual arsenal. Combined with prayer, it helps break spiritual bondage and overcome demonic resistance.

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Many Christians experience periods where their spiritual life feels blocked—when prayer seems lifeless, and God feels distant. I have experienced this myself—times when my prayers felt like they never reached beyond the ceiling. When this happens, it must not be ignored. It is often a sign of spiritual warfare, a direct attempt by the enemy to drain our zeal and rob us of intimacy with God.

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The right response is not resignation but renewed pursuit. God may allow such seasons to test our resolve—to see how much we truly value His presence. Are we willing to pay the price to draw near? If our concern for intimacy fades at the first obstacle, then our love is shallow. But if we are sincere, the following verses call us to action:

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Turn ye even to Me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning. (Joel 2:12)

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This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting. (Mk. 9:29)

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Four days ago I was fasting until this hour; and at the ninth hour I prayed in my house, and, behold, a man stood before me in bright clothing. (Acts 10:30)

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Defraud ye not one the other... that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer. (1 Cor. 7:5)

 

Fasting disciplines the body, humbles the soul, and renews spiritual sensitivity. It demonstrates to God that we mean business in our pursuit of intimacy.

 

CONCLUSION

This study was written as a practical guide for believers who long to experience deeper communion with God but feel hindered or discouraged. If that’s you, take heart. Test these biblical principles in your own life. Give God the opportunity to prove His faithfulness, and you will find that His promises never fail. When we pursue Him with all our heart—through prayer, obedience, worship, repentance, and fasting—we discover that God is not distant after all. He is waiting for us to draw near.

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And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. (Jer. 29:13)

 

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